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E1.Longest Time Pretending to be Foreign/
Requirements: Use a very bad foreign accent (foreign, of course to the country you live in) - must be
completely 'over the top' and not at all beleivable - keep it up as long as possible
Record holders: Chris Rock, Worcester, England, Julian Canny, Dublin, Ireland
Andrew Cox, Jersey C.I. U.K. and Mark Daniel, Worcester, England
Collectively known as the "UK & Ireland Norway Cup Referees Group"
Details: 6 hours per day for 8 days"Extremely bad Norwegian accents that sounded more like Dutch or that bloke off
the Red Square adverts (the fella with the neck brace on - Avid Merrion)." Oslo July 2002 (late claim)
Previous record holder: A J Knapman, Birmingham, England 3½ hours November 2002

E2.Longest Time Wearing A Full-Face Crash Helmet
Requirements: Take care when entering banks and when washing hair
Record holder: Greg Jackson, London, England
Details: 22 hours (Riding through Denmark and Holland to return to the UK) Summer 1994
"I must admit that my hair was a bit greasy, but the stench in my leather pants was worse".
Previous record holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, England
Details: 10 hours (Dispatch riding, multidrop - busy day) September 1988

E3.Longest Time in a Lift (elevator)
Requirements: Does not include a non-operational or broken down lift -
just going up and down and up and down and up....
Record holder: Pete Roderick, London, England
Details: 30 minutes - 'Paternoster' style lift - kept going 'over the top' July 1976

E4.Longest Time on the Lavatory
Requirements: Any fully functioning lavatory
Record holder: Carl Grantham, Bakersfield, USA
Details: 2 hours "I was reading the papers in there" December 2002

E5.Longest Time with one or more Testicles on a Table Spoon
Requirements: Men only please - Have hours of fun balancing them on the spoon - you can even go 
jogging if you like - perhaps a future entry for our Track & Field section - incidentally, the tecticles
in question do still need to be attached to your person
Record holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, England
Details: 1 minute - There to be beaten (have since washed the spoon) January 2003

E6.Longest Time with Someone Else's Testicles on a Table Spoon
Requirements: Open to men or women - please ensure you have their permission first
Record holder: open

E7.Longest 'Keepie-Up' with a Tennis Ball
Requirements: Ball juggling - Keep the ball up using any part of the body other than arms/hands (shoulder OK)
Record holder: Ronnie Ward, Dublin, Ireland
Details: 16 - December 2002

E8.Most Dog Poop Trodden In in 1 Day
Requirements: Actively seek out piles of poop and jump in - bet you've never seen anyone do that before - distinction for drawing peoples attention to your actions and giving your foot a good old twist just to make sure
Record holder: Jon Hewitt, Chippenham, England
Details: 2 "Twice in one day - accidentally - does it count?" YES January 2003

E9.Longest Time Wearing Only a Pair Of 'Y Fronts' (men only)
Requirements: One pair of 'Y Fronts' and one very stupid person
Record holder: open

E10.Longest Butt Kicking Contest
Requirements: Pairs record - alternate kicking of each others butt - no longer than 10 second intervals
Record holders: open

E11.Longest Time Standing Naked in the Rain
Requirements: Video camera - we really wanna see this one!
Record holder: Linda Reynolds, Warrington, England
Details: 15 minutes and 32 seconds - Barking mad February 2003

E12.Most Holes Of Golf Played Without Using A Golf Club or Ball
Requirements: Really wind people up with this one - must have a fully equipped golf bag - place tee peg in the ground on the first hole, take an imaginary swing at an imaginary ball, follow through with all the actions, admire or swear loudly at the result, pick up the peg and march off to take your second shot - continue as long as possible without being thown out or arrested - must putt out on each hole. Distinction for shouting 'FORE!' to preceding group on every 'shot'
Record holder: Alan Duckham & Paul Green, Greenford, England
Details: 2 holes "Just to try it - excellent - does wonders to your handicap" January 2003

E13.Longest Continuous Air Guitar/Head Banging
Requirements: We recommend old Quo tracks
Record holder: Bill Jaimeson, Tring, England
Details: 2 hours and 45 minutes "Standing in front of the TV watching Kerrang - pass the Asprin" December 2002

E14.Most Tennis Balls Held - Naked
Requirements: Hold the tennis balls up off the ground without the aid of clothing or outside assistance
click here for PICTURE
Record holder: Sarah Daykin, Leeds, England
Details: 39 - on a very cold and wet rooftop in East London, many miles from home, with builders looking on - April 2002

E15.Most Regulation Soccer Balls Held - Naked
Requirements: Hold the soccer balls up off the ground without the aid of clothing or outside assistance
Record holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, England
Details: 7 - as a starter October 2002

E16.Longest Continuous Playing of 'Stairway To Heaven' on Acoustic Guitar
Requirements: Get a life
Record holder: Bob Olney, Glasgow, Scotland
Details: 1 hour, 3 minutes and 20 seconds "Sore fingers - cheap guitar - also started to nod off" December 2002

E17.Longest Gargle
Requirements: Any liquid - intakes of breath through the nose are permitted 
(intakes of breath through the mouth are not recommended)
Record holder: Quim Morales, Barcelona, Spain
Details: 18 seconds "Live, during our radio show EL ROSARI DE L'AURORA" June 2003
Previous record holder: Jane Snedden, London, England
Details: 17 seconds "Messy" March 2003

E18.Longest Time with Finger Up Nose
Requirements: Anywhere, as long as it is verifyable (long fingernails not recommended)
Record holder: Mel Jackson, Washington DC, USA
Details: 1 hour and 52 minutes "In a bar - makes your arm ache" February 2003

E19.Longest Time Without Blinking
Requirements: No assistance in keeping eyes open is permitted
Record holder: Stephen Smith, Bromley, England
Details: 2 minutes 42 seconds "My eyes now sting" May 2003 
Previous record holder: B Hern, Tulsa, USA - 1 minute 8 seconds

E20.Longest Time Without A Wash/Shower/Bath/Shave/Teeth Clean
Requirements: No soap, deodorant or perfumed items to mask the stench
Record holder: Mick Brannah, Fremantle, Australia
Details: 75 hours (Driving and sleeping in the car) December 2002

E21.Longest Game of Eye-Spy
Requirements: Pairs record (well you really couldn't play by yourself now, could you?)
Record holders: John & Alexandra Dudley, Cadeleigh, England
Details: 50 minutes September 2002

E22.Longest Time Sitting with Arms Folded and Legs Crossed
Requirements: Just pretend you're sulking over something
Record holder: open

E23.Heaviest Object Dropped onto Unprotected Foot
Requirements: Drop the object from 1 metre (3'3") onto a bare foot - foot must be completely unprotected and resting on a solid surface - please use own foot
Record holder: Andrew Dowding, Plymouth, England
Details: 2 pounds "Bag of sugar - easy" November 2002

E24.Most Sausages Barbequed Naked
Requirements: No protective clothing - must be within arms reach of barbeque
Record holder: open

E25.Most Dogs Kissed on the Lips in 1 hour
Requirements: Kiss dogs (canine) on the lips - tongues not necessary
Record holder: Stacey Monk, Fairbanks, USA
Details: 19 "Several of them attempted to hump my leg - wear old pants" February 2003

E26.Longest Handstand in a Swimming Pool
Requirements: Pool must have water in it - no breathing apparatus permitted
Record holder: Iain Gray, Arbroath, Scotland
Details: 18 seconds March 2003

E27.Longest Pub Crawl
Requirements: Pub/bar hopping - one drink in each establishment - longest time
Record holder: Jessie Smith, Blackpool, England
Details: 12 hours "Twelve hours in Blackpool - falling down" December 2002

E28.Longest Time Standing in the Corner
Requirements: One corner
Record holder: Vern Pryce, Dayton, USA
Details: 1 hour and 25 minutes WHY VERN? January 2003

E29.Longest Time Twirling
Requirements: Stand and spin - at least one revolution in one second please
Record holder: open

E30.Most Mossie Bites in 1 Night
Requirements: Bites from mosquitos, midges etc - perhaps sitting semi-naked next to 
stagnant water at night with a bright light in close proximity
(WARNING - to some people, this may seem odd - beware of men in white coats)
Record holder: James Gronin, Henley, England
Details: 18 "One moonlit night by the Thames" July 2002

E31.Longest Time Standing on a Chair
Requirements: Self explanatory
Record holder: Vern Pryce, Dayton, USA
Details: 52 minutes "Got bored" VERN - YOU'RE STRANGE January 2003

E32.Longest Continuous Game of 'Slaps'
Requirements: (Pairs) Only to be attempted if you are familiar with the game - if played properly, it probably won't last too long anyway - someone will be missing skin from the backs of their hands
Contact us for rules
Record holder: Jeff Moody & Gerry Carne, Brisbane, Australia
Details: 36 minutes "Hands hurt so bad, lost all sensation" January 2002

E33.Longest Continuous Game of 'Knuckles'
Requirements: (Pairs) Only to be attempted if you are familiar with the game - if played properly, it probably won't last too long anyway - someone will have a broken bone in the back of their hand
Contact us for rules
Record holder: Jeff Moody & Gerry Carne, Brisbane, Australia
Details: 16 minutes "Forced to quit due recognition of imminent serious damage" January 2002

E34.Longest Time Watching TV
Requirements: Must stay awake - 1 bathroom break of no more than 5 minutes permitted every 2 hours
Record holder: Kerry Reed, Vancouver, Canada
Details: 13 hours and 14 minutes "Ran out of beer" February 2003 

E35.Longest Time Continuous Listening to Fleetwood Mac 'Rumours'
Requirements: Although possibly one of the best albums ever recorded, how long would it take to drive you crazy?
Record holder: Lana Rich, London, England
Details: 7 hours and 42 minutes "Never going back again" March 2003

E36.Longest Continuous Karaoke Singing of 'New York, New York'
Requirements: The Frank Sinatra version
Record holder: Gary Burn, Benidorm, Spain
Details: 1 hour and 4 minutes (Brit expat representing Spain) March 2003

E37.Longest 'Wheelie' on a bicycle One-Handed
Requirements: Easy two-handed - not so with just one - second hand must not touch the handlebars at all 
Record holder: open

E38.Highest Unsupported Tower of Coins
Requirements: Any coins stacked one on top of the other - no supports - no glue
Record holder: Ben Lowe, Pembroke, Wales
Details: 34 inches - January 2003

E39.Most People on a Mountain Bike
Requirements: Mountain or All-Terrain bike - adapt it if you like - any size/age of persons
Record holder: open

E40.Longest Time Playing 'Patience'
Requirements: Any patience game or games using playing cards or computer software
Record holder: Terry Bray, London, England
Details: 8 hours and 12 minutes "All night shift - honest" February 2003

E41.Longest Time Continuous Reading of Danielle Steel Novels
Requirements: Read without taking a break - complete books only (not jumping from one to another)
Record holder: Millie Chappell, Dorset, England
Details: 16 hours and 14 minutes "Fell asleep" January 2003

E42.Longest Time Hanging Upside Down from a Tree
Requirements: Generally bat-like features - or moron
Record holder: Martin Jones, East Grinstead, England
Details: 32 minutes "Headache" March 2003

E43.Biggest Lie
Requirements: Convince us
Record holder: Shaun McCrae, New York City, USA
Details: "They found the other half of Kennedy's brain and transplanted it into
my head - that's why it's so big"
WELL, WE BELIEVE HIM December 2002

E44.Furthest Rolled Downhill in a Trash Can
Requirements: With trash in it
Record holder: John Dekker, Cleveland, USA
Details: 20 yards "With all kinda crap in there - hit a car" March 2003

E45.Most People Pi$$ed Off in one Go
Requirements: Sky's the limit on this one
Record holder: open

E46.Longest Time Floating on an Inflatable in a Swimming Pool
Requirements: Endless supply of Cocktails
Record holder: Peter Delveccio, Indian Wells, USA
Details: 9 hours and 33 minutes December 2002

E47.Most Swear Words on a Scrabble Board
Requirements: One standard set of letters
Record holder: Bart Scott, Sydney, Australia
Details: 22 "Some are pure Oz though and relate to various parts of a Sheila's anatomy" March 2003

E48.Biggest Wipe-Out (Skis, Snowboard, Surfboard, Skateboard)
Requirements: Distinction given for injuries to self or others
Record holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, England
Details: I'll take this one initially - breakneck speed on skis, hit unexpected bump - total wipe out length some 50 metres, no injuries, but one ski tip was bent upwards at an angle of around 45° - St Johann Im Pongau, Austria January 1982

E49.Longest Time Hanging from Anything by One Arm
Requirements: Feet off the ground, one arm supporting whole body weight
Record holder: open

E50. Longest time wearing the same pair of underpants
Requirements: Men only please - 'shorts' to you yanks
Record holder: Willy Brunner, Dusseldorf, Germany
Details: 5 days and 5 nights NOW KNOWN AS WILLY NO-MATES February 2003

E51. Longest time with cocktail umbrella up one's butt
Requirements: Umbrella must be fully open
Record holder: open

E52. Longest time in a train lavatory without being thrown out by the guard
Requirements: Moving train in service please
Record holder: open

E53. Furthest distance in a train lavatory without being thrown out by the guard
Requirements: Moving train in service please
Record holder: open

E54. Longest time in an aircraft lavatory without being thrown out by the cabin attendant
Requirements: Airborne aircraft
Record holder: open

E55. Most people 'air kissed' in 5 minutes
Requirements: Different people - 'kissing' both cheeks without actually making contact
(distinction for hugely exaggerated actions and accompanying
phrases such as 'daahling' and 'sweetie')
Record holder: Joel Langdon, London, England
Details: 27 "New Year's Eve" December 2002

E56. Most requests of station staff at Kings Cross, London for location of platform 9¾
Requirements: Strong resolve - distinction for pushing a trolley with an owl in a cage and 
for having a lightning shaped scar on your forehead
Record holder: open

E57. Longest time with entire contents of a perfume, eau de toillette or after shave bottle tipped over oneself
Requirements: Distinction for really strong smelling old lady type perfume
(the type they insist on wearing when 'going out', even in public swimming pools) but any will qualify
Record holder: open

E58. Most press-ups into a bowl of custard in one minute
Requirements: A washing-up bowl full of custard placed directly under the upper chest and face of whoever is doing the press-ups. Face must be completely immersed in the custard (up to ear level) on each press-up. Most in one minute.
click here for PICTURE
Record holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, England
Details: 15 (gave up because this really is a completely ridiculous record) - April 2003

E59. Longest time holding a pint of beer at arms length
Requirements: In the standing position, hold a full pint at arms length (straight out at 90° to the body)
Record holder: open

E60. Most press-ups on top of partner
Requirements: Partner (any sex) to lay on floor facing upwards - each press-up must include kiss to the lips (facial)
Record holder: open

E61. Most farts 'taken to the head'
Requirements: Place your ear against the butt hole of the farter - take the full force to the head
Good idea to line up a bunch of willing farters for this attempt
and work your way along - one fart every 30 seconds to qualify
Record holder: open

E62. Longest time spent fighting on a bouncy castle under the influence of alcohol
Requirements: Bouncy castle, booze and probably a bunch of students who really should know better
Proposed by Ben 'Noel' Gregory
Record holders: Ben Gregory, Mike Barlow, Judo James, Fake Steve, Tron, Wilma Beast, Dickon and Mark Jeffery
(University of Bath Lacrosse club)
Details: 2 hours and 30 minutes "21st birthday party. Got messy. Started off with friendly fighting,
ended up with a royal rumble. My ribs hurt (even with all the beer)". June 2003

E63. Longest time watching re-runs of 'Eldorado' - the dodgy BBC soap set in Spain
Requirements: Anyone sad enough to have taped them in the first place
Proposed by Chris Rock
Record holder: (not surprisingly) open

Any other suggestions for singing, watching or listening to anything will be carefully considered 

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