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       Bodily Functions  


C1.Longest Fart
Requirements: Brave individual to time the emmision
Record holder: open
Details:

C2.Loudest Fart
Requirements: Equally brave individual to get close enough to attest to the volume (and compare it with something)
Record holder: open
Details:

C3.Longest Medley of Farts
Requirements: Rapid fire - no less than 1 second or more than 2 seconds between each (number of individual farts)
Record holder: Chris Warren, Manchester, England
Details: 14, closely followed by a dump February 2003

C4.Longest Belch
Requirements: Brave individual to time the emmision (probably the very same brave individual who adjudicated during the farts because you can bet your life it's gonna be the same sort of people attempting both categories of record) 
Record holder: open
Details:

C5.Loudest Belch
Requirements: Equally brave individual to get close enough to attest to the volume (and compare it with something)
Record holder: open
Details:

C6.Longest Pee - Duration
Requirements: From 'flood gates open' to the last shake or drip
Record holder: Kevin Sell, Minnesota, USA
Details: 132 seconds "I was practicing all last week by drinking water at different times before the pee".
May 2003
Previous record holder: Darren, Helsinki, Finland
Details: 125 seconds "I've made it a personal hobby when drinking to time my solitary moment of release
when I feel it's going to be significant" - "Thank you for making this website. It's those little victories in life
that make life so interesting" June 2003
Previous record holder: Jonathan Parrill, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Details: 121 seconds "I went to see 'The Matrix Reloaded' and enjoyed a large coke while watching the movie.  I almost pissed my clothes by the time the show was over, but managed to hobble over to the bathroom where I managed a steady stream of 121 seconds (a new personal best)". May 2003
 

C7.Farthest Pee - Over The Ground From Standing Position (recommended men only) 
Requirements: On private property please - preferably your own
Record holder: open 
Details:

C8.Highest Pee - Up Urinal Wall (again, recommended men only....although....)
Requirements: Only if the tiles go up that far
Record holder: open 
Details:

C9.Longest Time Without A Pee
Requirements: Must consume 4 pints (imperial) of liquid per hour
Record holder: open
Details:

C10.Most Sweat Produced in 1 Hour
Requirements: Can only be judged on amount collected (although we've no idea how you're gonna do that)
Record holder: open
Details:

C11.Longest Spit - Lateral
Requirements: Spit from stationary standing position - may arch back - distance over the ground
Preferably not in a public place - not necessarily restricted to football/baseball players
Record holder: open
Details:

C12.Longest Spit - Vertical
Requirements: Long dangly gob - measure to end of dangle whilst still attached to offending mouth
Record holder: open
Details:

C13.Longest Puke - Duration
Requirements: Number of pukes during a spell of illness or hangover
Record holder: John Dudley, Cadeleigh, England
Details: 13 in 1 night during sunstroke illness, Florida, April 2002

C14.Longest Puke - Distance
Requirements: Essentially one of those unexpectedly violent projectile pukes that catch you out from time to time
Record holder: open
Details:

C15.Most People Puked On
Requirements: May be asociated with the distance puker, but may also be intentional - perhaps from elevated position
Record holder: open
Details:

C16.Longest Stool
Requirements: No, not the kind you sit on - we're talking turds here
Record holder: Bob Hart, Melbourne, Australia 
Details: 10 inches "I swear - and good girth too, mind you, I did sweat like a b#stard" March 2003

C17.Most Stools (see above) passed in 24 hours
Requirements: Don't have to store them, just log them - no pun intended
Record holder: open 
Details:

C18. Most simultaneous belch/farts in a row
Requirements: Belch and fart at the same time - requires intense concentration and co-ordination
Record holder: open
Details:

C19. Most 'Blue Flamers' in a row
Requirements: Ignite your farts - separate ignition for each fart please - no more than 10 second gap between each
Record holder: Will Donahue, Liverpool, England
Details: 2 "Tricky" December 2002

C20. Most impressive 'Blue Flamer'
Requirements: An audience of like-minded halfwits
Record holder: open
Details:

C21. Most men peeing into a bucket at the same time
Requirements: Bucket, men, mop
Record holders: Steve Stuart, Alan & Ronnie Law, Glasgow, Scotland
Details: 3 (six wet shoes) March 2003

C22. Most women peeing into a bucket at the same time
Requirements: Bucket, very narrow women, mop
Record holders: open
Details:

C23. Most farts in a crowded lift (without being found out)
Requirements: Straight face
Record holder: Alec Sherrin, London, England
Details: 1 (one) "A real supherous, eggy one with eight or nine other passengers in the lift. Just stood there with a frown and a look of total disgust on my face, casting accusatory glances at the other occupants" February 2003
 

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